What is it?

I feel like I'm still in the "wait for it" part. Actually no, I'm nowhere near legendary, I can't even figure out what I'm passionate about. Everyone has something; sports, singing, dancing, cooking, writing, inventing, organizing.. something! I don't.
I love reading but no it's not it. I love drawing, still not it. I love hanging out, but seriously how's that a passion. I love it when I do something and people like but that's not what I want, I'm really good at organizing parties aaaand also not it...

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I WANT, I have no idea how.

I love writing, maybe that would turn out to be that "something" someday? Who knows?
Why does it seem so easy to other people? It's like they know what they want and they're already acting upon it.
I've always wanted to be different. I know that. I also know that I'll never stop trying.
I know that I'll never give up something I really want. I know I'll be different, not freaky different, unique and you know, different. That's a lot of commas in one sentence.

My dad always told me that you have to have a plan for everything you do in your life. So first of all A PLAN.
List of things I really want to do:

1.I really want to finish my "20 things to do before 20" list which is nearly impossible since my BD is in nearly 2 weeks and I've accomplished 9/20 things, hope's still there and I'm not going to lose it.

2.I really want to get ranked in the top 20 students in my pharmacy class, still not very possible but I still have 5 semesters to go so hope is still there.

3.I really want to learn how to ride a bike.

4.I really want to take a designing course in Paris but I'm too much of coward to go there alone.

5.I really want to have a super awesome 20th BD because I'm tired of having lousy ass ones.

6.I really want to get accepted in an interview. Any interview. I've been rejected way too many times already and I think that's enough.

7.I'm really awkward when meeting new people, I really want to change that. I want them to see the me that hangs out with her friends on a weekend. Fun, sociable me. Not awkward me.

8.I want to get an MBA.

9.I really want to do a lot of charity work and make a difference in someone's life.

10. I really really want to lose weight.

I want to be successful and I want to have accomplished a lot of things and that's not going to happen by just sitting there in front of the laptop watching people posting photos of themselves on Facebook while they're going after what they really want from life.
I will change. And I am starting right now.

TO THE ROAD TO KNOW WHAT IS IT THAT I REALLY WANT...